so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
