a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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