I think I won the penis lottery.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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