I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just cropdusted the office
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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