i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize