very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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