If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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