wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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