I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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