but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Sober January is a disaster.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
