Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
