And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
