I can tuck mytits in my pants
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize