Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
