my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
