butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
