i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
