meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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