ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
