dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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