She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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