am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Randomize