And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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