dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
