So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
