it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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