Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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