She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
