i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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