DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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