no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
