If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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