At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
did i walk over a car last night?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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