Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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