I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
