So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
