Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
