Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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