Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
