She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Shame is for Republicans.
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