what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize