living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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