Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
