He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
