So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i came on her dog
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
