Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I look better un-naked...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My life is pants optional.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
