My sheets look like a crime scene.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
