im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
