I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
