I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
