you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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