Just fell off a train. Bad.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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