youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
