My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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