Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
