i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want to make out with him forever
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
