dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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