you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
