Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
