Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
