Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just google imaged poop.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
