OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize