I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
