this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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