I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
