just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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