I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
