remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
